I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
