I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
