We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When are your genitals available?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
