So drunk its hurt
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
