I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
