If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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