that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
