matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
