Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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