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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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