I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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