so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
