oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
