My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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