dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
