I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize