Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
