Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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