I hope mine doesn't look like that
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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