so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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