Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
