i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
