You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize