i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We left the knife in your bed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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