Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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