And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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