i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
