let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize