I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
