The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
