so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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