would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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