this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize