Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
