so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
