girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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