Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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