This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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