I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
