If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
