she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
