you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
