i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
