My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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