Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
