I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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