Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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