VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
