people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
