she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
