i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize