I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
