Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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