Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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