And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
