No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
