is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
