my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
