Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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