I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
