I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
