Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
