I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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