Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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