i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
