she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
