dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
