i permit you to call me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
