Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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