And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
