I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
