hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
