Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Acid is not a monday night drug
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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