it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize