i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
