you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize