After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
